“34 Excuses For Why We Failed At Love” By Warsan Shire

I’m lonely so I do lonely things

Loving you was like going to war I never came back the same

You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood

I was wandering, the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home

You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave

I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to remember

I didn’t call him back because he likes his girls voiceless

It’s not that he wants to be a liar; it’s just that he doesn’t know the truth

I couldn’t love you, you were a small war.

We covered the smell of loss with jokes

I didn’t want to fail at love like our parents

You made the nomad in me build a house and stay

I’m not a dog

We were trying to prove our blood wrong

I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things

Yes, I’m insecure, but so was my mother and her mother

No, he loves me he just makes me cry a lot

He knows all of my secrets and still wants to kiss me

You were too cruel to love for a long time

It just didn’t work out

My dad walked out one afternoon and never came back

I can’t sleep because I can still taste him in my mouth

I cut him out at the root, he was my favorite tree, rotting, threatening the foundations of my home

The women in my family die waiting

Because I didn’t want to die waiting for you

I had to leave, I felt lonely when he held me

You’re the song I rewind until I know all the words and I feel sick

He sent me a text that said “I love you so bad.”

His heart wasn’t as beautiful as his smile

We emotionally manipulated one another until we thought it was love

Forgive me, I was lonely so I chose you

I’m a lover without a lover

I’m lovely and lonely

I belong deeply to myself.

 

 

Poetry By: Warsan Shire

Featured Image: Getty Images

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